Dear Uncle Moneybags,

Are you the world's biggest Metalocalypse fan? No, really, their BIGGEST fan? Well, time to put your money where your mouth is by blowing all of that filthy, dirty cash you have lying around on this incredibly decadent purchase: a replica of the fountain that decorates the nightmarish foyer of Dethklok's luxurious and deadly estate. Nothing will boast your dedication to animated death-metal more than this disgustingly lavish and entirely unnecessary conversation piece squatting in your front yard. It will also do your neighbors the courtesy of informing them that yes, you are 100% balls-out crazy. Both shipping (and, of course, blood) are not included.

In case you couldn't tell, this is a pretty big deal. Just so we're clear:

You can order a replica of Dethklok's fountain
It costs $40,000
It's a marble fountain; approx. 66" in height, 96" basin diameter
Expect 8-12 weeks production time
It ships anywhere in North America or the Caribbean
Price does NOT include shipping, and will vary by location
A $13,000 security deposit is required upon purchase to weed out the jokers
The fountain is non-refundable
Seriously, this is real

Don't you think you've earned a little $40,000 something? Go ahead. Place your order now and secure your destiny as "that guy" on your street. 


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